Rough night

December 3, 2009 by gardengirl

Last night I had a rough night.  Hubby and I got into an argument that I didn't think was a big deal but he though it was.  Whenever this happens and he gets so upset, he starts going on about all the things that are bothering him.  I hate this because he's not fighting fair and basically just lashing out on me.  In the end I we made peace and all is okay but not without stress on me and and the baby and many tears shed.

Then it only got worse.  He picked out this movie called Keith - an indie flick which was horribly depressing.  The two of us were crying again over this movie.  When I went upstairs for my daily routine - pee, teeth, injection - I started to get very nervous.  I've been giving myself injections every day for my entire pregnancy.  Some days all is well and it's not too bad.  Other days there is incredible pain and that lasts for hours.  I knew it was going to be a painful night because I was running out of injection sites.  I tried my best but the minute i pricked the skin I let out a scream.  It was a really bad one.  This again made me cry for hours.  I had a total pity party on myself and my situation.  I went into the basement and just started wailing and wailing because I felt I really needed it.  DH came down to bring me back to bed but I was so worn out I couldn't sleep.  Not to mention the crazy storm brewing was so loud.  I barely slept at all.  

i woke up this morning with a crying headache - you know the kind you get after crying so much and lack of sleep.  I feel miserable and have to work - blah.  I've always wanted a bunch of kids but now I'm not sure if I can handle it.  These injections are really difficult and I'm not sure how many pregnancies I can do it for.  I think that depresses me the most.  We've always wanted to adopt so I guess we'll see after our first.  I don't think I"m brave enough to do this 2 more times like we'd hoped.  

Let's hope today is a better day for me.  Thanks for listening to my pity party.

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