Relationships: Dating Trap #7

March 15, 2009 by thinkhappy

Avoiding the 14 Dating Traps

Dating Trap #7

Last week I revealed the sixth dating trap – The Date to Mate Trap. Were you able to relate to this trap? Have you fallen into this trap yourself? Hopefully, now that you know what this trap is and how to avoid it, you won’t fall into ever again. By avoiding this trap, you are well on your way to having more successful relationships in the future.

As promised here is the seventh dating trap – The Attraction Trap.  Just as the title states this trap occurs when you base your decision to be in a relationship merely on your feeling of attraction. There is no question attraction is important, after all you probably wouldn’t even notice the person if you were not attracted to them in some way. This attraction or chemistry is what draws people together. However, solely basing your decision on whether someone is right for you or not because you have chemistry or are attracted to one another leaves you vulnerable to falling into the attraction trap. You are basing your relationship decision on unconscious factors that may not be overly reliable, particularly if you have made bad relationship choices in the past. Your attraction radar is most likely unreliable. Relationship failure is inevitable if based solely on this radar.

You can avoid this trap by stopping, stepping back and taking the time to analyze your attraction. The attraction is the first step, the next step is consciously looking at the person you are attracted to and compare him or her to your requirements. Doing this will allow you to identify the potential red flags that mean the relationship isn’t going to work before you get too emotionally invested in the relationship. If you don’t have your requirements identified, you will get sucked into believing that the relationship was meant to be because it feels good - you all know that during the strong chemistry or infatuation stage of a relationship your decision making capabilities can be distorted. Having a clear relationship vision with your relationship requirements clearly defined you can fight more easily through the infatuation haze and determine without a doubt if this is the right person for you. Remember the beginning of a relationship is not the time to compromise, if he or she doesn’t fit into your vision then you need to walk away.

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