Relationships: Dating Trap #2

February 9, 2009 by thinkhappy

Dating Trap Number Two - The Packaging Trap

Last time I revealed the first dating trap – The Marketing Trap. Were you able to relate to this trap? Have you fallen into this trap yourself? Have you been ensnared by this trap in the past? Hopefully, now that you know what this trap is and how to avoid it, you won’t fall into ever again. By avoiding this trap, you are well on your way to having more successful relationships in the future.

 Avoiding the Marketing Trap is only the first step. There are thirteen others that can easily ensnare you. Today we will look at the second trap – The Packaging Trap. Falling into the packaging trap means that you focus on outside packaging – such as someone’s body, looks, job, wealth, material possessions and overlook the reality of the person inside. The Packaging Trap is the opposite of the Marketing Trap: instead of seeking to sell yourself with attractive packaging, you focus on the packaging of others.

Can you relate to the packaging trap? There are probably very few people who can’t relate to this trap, after all the first thing that attracts many of us to someone is their looks, right? There is nothing wrong with using the outside package as a means to initiate contact - the challenge comes in when that is all you focus. By focusing only on the outside package you may end up overlooking other aspects of the person that do not fit into your ideal relationship. For example, have you ever made excuse for your partner’s behavior or rationalize what they do because of what they bring to the relationship, financial security, a good looking body, etc. When you do that you have fallen into the packaging trap – worrying more about what’s on the outside then what is right for you on the inside. Don’t compromise and the only way you can avoid compromising is by being very clear about your relationship requirements.

One way that you can ensure that you do not fall into the packaging trap is by identifying what your relationship requirements are - the deal breakers. You know it is a requirement for the relationship when if not met the relationship must end. Becoming very clear about your deal breakers will allow you to avoid the packaging trap because you will no longer be able to rationalize or make excuses for why that element is missing – if it is missing the relationship must come to an end, so all the outside fluff will no longer be a distraction. Relationship success depends on having a clear vision of your relationship requirements with out a clear vision failure is inevitable.

Be sure to come back next week when I reveal how to avoid the third dating trap – The Scarcity Trap.

Learn more about Coach Lisa Here!

Permalink