Read Me: Dating Trap #6

March 8, 2009 by thinkhappy

How To Avoid Dating Trap #6

Last week I revealed the fifth dating trap – The Fairytale Trap. Were you able to relate to this trap? Have you fallen into this trap yourself? Hopefully, now that you know what this trap is and how to avoid it, you won’t fall into ever again. By avoiding this trap, you are well on your way to having more successful relationships in the future.

As promised here is the sixth dating trap – The Date to Mate Trap. This trap occurs when you become a committed/exclusive couple within a very short period of time, before you have an opportunity to assess whether or not you and this person are a good match. Other terms that are used for this trap are the mini-marriage or serial monogamy. The reason that this type of dating doesn’t work is because you jump into a full blown relationship quickly and sense you have already made the commitment to make it work, you are forced to compromise and adjust right from the beginning, even when you figure out your truly are not a good fit. You made the commitment though, so too late to get out, right?

Frankly, the beginning of a relationship should not require compromise.  If the person doesn’t meet your requirements then the relationship should end. People who are in the Date to Mate Trap don’t end the relationship but try to force it to work. Have you ever put together a puzzle and you have one piece left and it just doesn’t quite fit but you force it in anyway because it is easier then tearing the puzzle apart and finding the piece that was put in wrong from the start? That is what happens when you date to mate – easier to force it to work then tearing the relationship apart, or so you think.

The problem with this philosophy is that you will miss out on the right partner because you are trying to force a not so right relationship to work. So what is the solution?

Date a variety of people and have fun without being exclusive. When you are ready for a committed relationship define your Requirements and use them as tools to scout, sort, and screen potential partners. Make a careful relationship choice and consciously use a “pre-commitment” period to determine if this is the right relationship for you.

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