Inside the Working Mom

April 29, 2009 by thinkhappy

Inside The Working Mom’s World

By Melissa Foster 

If you are a mom and you work, regardless of if it is inside or outside of the home, then you know that you are pulling double duty, and more than likely, feeling a little underappreciated.

A “working mom” is an enormous understatement for most women. Being a mother takes almost all, if not every bit, of your emotional, physical, and mental energy. No matter what the age of your child/children, there are schedules to be dealt with, meals to cook, lunches to make/pack, homework to be looked after, and drama to be dealt with. When you add a paying job to the mix, a working mother can stretch herself to the outer limits.

Here are a few ways to keep your sanity while caring for both your job and your family.

Keep work outside of the main area of your home.

If you have a home office, it is often difficult to differentiate between “work space” and “family space”.  Designate an area of your home for your work – an office space if you have one, and if not, perhaps a corner of a particular room. Declare this space your “work space” and confine yourself to that area – hence, creating a “no work zone” outside of that space. The moment you step outside of that area, you are in your family zone.

Define work time vs family time.

It is often said by work at home mothers that their work is never done. That is certainly true! It is much easier to allow your work time to encroach on your family time when you work from home. This can lead to frustrated children (“Just one more second and I’ll be off the phone!”), irritated clients (“I apologize for my child in the background, but…”), and stressed relationships (“Honey, it’s dinner time!”).

Define your work hours. Just because you work out of your home does not mean that your clients need full access to your every second. If your child/children nap, then define that as your work time. Perhaps bring in a mommy’s helper for three hours during the day when you will have your “work time”. Defining your work hours will enable you to better focus on the tasks at hand – whether those tasks are building blocks with a two year old or handling a client deal – make the most of each moment.

Throw away mommy guilt!

Whether you are in a situation where you want to work or have to work makes no difference. The act of working itself is your prerogative – no matter how you come to terms with it. Some will say that a mother who works on issues other than her family is better functioning as a mother. I don’t know if that is true or not, but honestly, the answer lies within your own heart. Be kind to yourself. Working, in either situation is okay to do. Throw that mommy guilt away! If you manage your time effectively, then the time you spend with your family will be just as rewarding as the time you spend away from them, and vice versa.

Husbands are not women – Delegate your duties

To put it bluntly, if you are hoping that your husband will acknowledge that you are pulling double duty by working outside the home as well as inside the home, then you may be waiting a long time. Men are not women. Therefore, they do not often see our efforts in the same light. Many men assume housework will get done, meals will be made, homework will be dealt with – It is as if the magical wife fairy swoops into your home and takes care of these things.

We all know the magical wife fairy doesn’t exist. Or perhaps she does, and we are one in the same person. A quick fix for feeling overwhelmed, overworked, and underappreciated is to delegate, as you would in an office.

Do you have school aged children? If so, they are capable of emptying trash, making their own beds, cleaning up their playrooms/bedrooms, clearing dishes from the table, unloading the dishwasher, etc. Don’t overload them, but a chore each day is a healthy thing for both them and you!

Share responsibilities with your husband – For example, if you cook dinner, he can do the dishes while you settle the kids w/their homework. One can be responsible for throwing laundry in while the other is responsible for folding it. Pack lunches together the night before with your husband – Every relationship can benefit from a few minutes of togetherness.

A little perspective goes a long way.

Your home life and your business do not have to compete. There is room in every day for each if you organize your time appropriately and then respect your designations. There will always be those times when you have to give or take a little in one direction or the other – Understand that, welcome it, and don’t let it throw you off kilter.

If you see that your family needs more time, or your work is slowly encroaching on your family life, then reevaluate your schedules. There does not have to be a black and white answer to work and home life. Schedules change – Give yourself the gift of kindness and understanding when things need to be manipulated one way or another. Starting dinner ten minutes later will not make your family starve, just as asking your client if you can return the call the next day during your office hours should not negatively impact your client relationship.  Afterall, do you interrupt your clients during dinner?

A little organization, pre-planning, and structure can make all the difference in your home and business relationships. Respect yourself, your family, and your business. You can have it all!

Melissa Foster is the founder of The Women’s Nest, a free on-line community for women. Come escape the chaos of your daily life, connect with other women like yourself - Share a laugh, gain advice, friendship, and fun! Book club, scrapbook club, forums, blogs, and free medical, financial, and relationship advice. Join us at http://www.thewomensnest.com

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