3 Steps to Creating White Space in Your Calendar and Your Life

January 20, 2010 by thinkhappy

3 Steps to Creating White Space in Your Calendar and Your Life
By Tara Mohr  
Recently, I’ve been canceling a lot of things from my calendar. Just  
canceling. It feels quite rebellious.
 
My life, like yours, is fully of projects, work, family, errands, all kinds  
of lovely people, closet organizing aspirations….I could go on and on.  I  
filled up the calendar with all that good stuff and found myself feeling  
bummed out by it, anxious and resentful. I wanted white space – not a zoo  
of text- on the calendar page.
 
For a week, I hung out in the discomfort, saying to myself, “I want free  
time. But I just can’t right now. I have commitments.” It took some  
stewing and a helpful chat with a friend before I was willing to take my  
longing seriously and act.
 
Acting was high stakes. I’m a people-pleaser. I hate to back out of  
commitments. I worry I’ll offend or disappoint.
 
I can report back: The world didn’t stop turning.  People understood. Some  
people even thanked me for getting us both of the hook for things neither of  
us were wholeheartedly committed to.
 
I now have a lot of white space in my calendar, and it feels delicious.  
Undeniably right. My anxiety and resentment are gone, which shows me once  
again: when I get in touch with what is happening within, believe it’s  
valid and act from there, life works. I feel generous and connected to  
myself.
 
I know that most of us want more white space in our lives, and it is  
difficult to make it happen. Here are three simple steps to creating white  
space in your life:
 
1. Take yourself seriously.
2. Pack your courage.
3. Start small.
 
1. Take Yourself Seriously. If white space is calling you, take that call  
seriously. Something important wants to be born, to heal, or to rest, and  
needs white space to do that. White space will, without a doubt, give you a  
precious gift. Don’t miss it.
 
2. Pack your courage. In our culture, busyness is celebrated. We draw a  
subtle sense of security and worth from it. Many workplaces celebrate martyrs  
who sacrifice themselves to busyness, instead of recognizing those that  
produce great results without overwhelm and long work days. Recognize that  
these cultural forces are alive in your life. Creating white space requires  
leaving the herd.  You’ll need courage to do it.
 
There is another reason that you’ll need courage. Especially at first,  
white space feels uncomfortable. White space isn’t really white, because  
all the colors that are in you quickly fill the space. White space is the  
container for you to discover, spend time with, and paint with those colors.  
Feeling resistant and scared to being with what might come up is normal. This  
is a habit that takes some practice to get used to. Be in it for the long run  
with yourself, and sit through the discomfort that will show up at first.
 
3. Small is big. Small changes — what we do with 10 minutes, 5 minutes, 15  
seconds — have a huge impact. If scheduling an hour of white space strikes  
you as a hilarious joke or physical impossibility, begin with:
•	Five minutes for pure white space time every morning or every evening.  
Check in with what is happening with yourself at that moment.
•	Between appointments, instead of a quick email check, dedicate 2-5  
minutes for white space. Connect with your body, your breath, or a part of  
nature. That desk plant counts!  If you have an iphone, try Dream, a free  
application that provides sounds of rain, ocean, and rushing wind. This will  
help you click into a white space frame of mind.
•	Find low-quality time–transit time, time spent drying your hair or  
folding the laundry, and bring a white space intention to it.  Slow down and  
reconnect to yourself.
 

Tara Sophia Mohr is a writer and life coach who helps individuals navigate transition and live more fulfilling lives. To learn more and access more resources for personal growth, visit www.sophiashouse.wordpress.com

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