This is a very positive forum and has inspired me to live my life healthier and happier. I enjoy going on here and hearing about all the positive things going on in everybody's life! OoPS, just lost my train of thought, my kitten was chewing on plastic wrap. Anyway, Lets take our time to remind ourselves of one thing:
"Happy girls are the Prettiest". -Audrey Hepburn-
So I am getting rid of one of my medicines: probably one of the harder things I will have to do for now. I often feel like I need it though the doctor said it doesn't help my mood much. Because of the side effects we are stopping it and not replacing it with anything else. That means I will have to deal with any depression I get. That worries me, but I am practicing today for instance, as I have a wave of depression right now.
Today I prayed so hard for an answer to my depression, for a medicine to not make me so tired. I prayed that I would lose my impulsivity, and think things through better. I prayed and cried my eyes out while I did. I am giving everything to God right now. My depression is a tough battle, one I have fought for 16 years. It peaks, then it diminishes. It is better once I am busy. I think a medication is working, and then something happens...a side effect or such. I get so frustrated by it all.
Ive got alot going on with job hunting, my unemployment being denied, my neice is battling an eating disorder and my uncle is sick. I feel pretty down right now. Money was always a way to cheer myself up, but I don't have my frivolous spending money anymore. I can live: I have rent etc, but I don't have my "Fun" money. The problem is, I don't know how to handle this sadness without it. I have been writing and praying alot. I feel stuck. I have a wonderful loving family, a wonderful husband etc. Im healthy everything else is going for me.
I missed it! I thought I was spending too much time here when I am supposed to be job hunting, but perhaps I didn't think it through very well (as usual). I am back! I feel silly deleting everything now, but I felt like I was sharing too much. Anyway, I am back on! I look forward to talking to everyone again.